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"‘Tonight, in the city of David, a Savior is born, 'tis Christ the Lord.'"

"There are not over a hundred people in the United States who hate the Catholic Church. There are millions, however, who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church, which is, of course, quite a different thing."
-Bishop Fulton J. Sheen
Placating terrorists, meeting with dictators, compassion for murderers... but no humanity for the unborn... incredible.
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nattyjk Profile
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Registered: 09-2005
Posts: 445
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Is resistance futile?


A good friend of mine, someone I have been friends with since jr. high, has a 13-year-old daughter. Although we don't talk or see each other terribly often, we remain in touch, and when we do talk, we can spend quite a long time on the phone. For the past couple of years, stories about her young daughter have continued to worry me.

This little girl was allowed to have her first boyfriend shortly after she turned 12. Yes, 12. Although perhaps I should not have been so surprised, my chin dropped at this news. I was still playing with my Cabbage Patch dolls at that age. Now these precious girls are getting their eyebrows waxed and planning their next date. My friend's reasoning for this? "Well, I'd rather know what she was doing than have her go behind my back and do it anyway." And so it goes. As parents, do we really have no right to expect our children to obey the rules? Of course I am not naive enough to think that they will never disobey. I have 4 children, you know. But are we to follow the thinking now that when they do disobey, we should just change the rules? And what does that say about how one views discipline? It's nice to have but not really required? You don't have to take your parents seriously? Children are given the message that if they disobey enough they will eventually get their way?

The last time I saw my friend, she had come over to drop off some clothes for my younger boys. She brought along the photo albums of pictures from her daughter's 13th birthday bash. She went all out with this party, complete with rented hall, limo for her daughter and her closest friends, DJ, fancy cake, and plastic wine glasses for their punch. You wouldn't believe the dresses some of these young girls were allowed to wear. It was a grown-up party for children. And then their were the pictures of her 13-year-old daughter in her grown-up dress and the boyfriend with his arms around her as if they were at the senior prom. I found it all really disturbing. I make some of my views known to my friend, but I often find myself speechless when I hear of these things.

I talked to her today for the first time in a few months. I was glad to hear that her daughter and the boyfriend are now broken up. Of course, she is devastated by this, and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before another takes his place, but for me it was a small moment of relief. But my friend relayed some other stories of her daughter's friends who also recently went through break-ups. Apparently, they were texting my friend about their dramas in the middle of the night. I was in utter disbelief. She made it sound like SHE was their friend. She said, "Well, at least they come to me." Of course, I wondered what she told them anyway, given she doesn't see any of this dating business at this tender age as a problem. I said, "What about their mothers?" She said, "They don't want to talk to their moms." She told me, "Oh, you just wait." I can't claim to know all about having a teenage daughter since I'm not there yet, but really?

I personally believe that these parents are copping out because they are allowing their children to be sucked into the prevailing culture. They see it as "just the way it is" and therefore, impossible to resist. So you just have to do your best to keep informed on what your child is doing, though not so much get in the way of it. Is it naive of me to think that I can try to keep my children from this same path? That by making God and their Catholic faith the foundation of their upbringing, keeping them in a Traditional Catholic school, and around children who believe in the same, they aren't doomed to go down this same road where I end up saying, "Well, I'd rather know what they're doing than have them go behind my back"? I know families with children who have not gone the way of the popular culture. I know it can be done. Can't it?


Last edited by nattyjk, Feb/12/2009, 6:48 pm


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Holy cow, it's a girl!!!
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Michael D Profile
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Registered: 09-2005
Posts: 2111
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Re: Is resistance futile?


Natalie,
Your friend must really be looking forward to becoming a grandma. If a parent does not want barely pubescent adolescents becoming sexually active those sorts of activities should not be allowed until the children are mature enough to deal with the consequences themselves. That is just common sense. Oh yeah, your friend will be raising her grandchildren alongside and with her emotionally scarred and ruined children.

---
Nothing by force, but everything by charity.

Ss. Thomas Aquinas and Augustine, pray for us.
Feb/13/2009, 8:12 am Link to this post Send Email to Michael D   Send PM to Michael D
 
SHJIHM Profile
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Devout Catholic

Registered: 07-2005
Posts: 1370
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Re: Is resistance futile?


I'm a parent now. And I can tell you that my Lainey bug will NOT be dating until she is at least 18. She will NEVER wear jeans or sweats to Church! And right now, she will only be allowed to watch morally acceptable television.

When we attend Mass, I am in awe of the very young children who attend with their heads covered, kneeling and praying. That is a testament to their parents and I say Praise God!

Michael, you hit the nail on the head. Parents who think it is easier to allow their children such great freedom are only setting themselves up for a huge fall.

I grew up with rules. As such, I don't drink, I have never done any drugs, and I have never been in any serious trouble.

quote:

s it naive of me to think that I can try to keep my children from this same path? That by making God and their Catholic faith the foundation of their upbringing, keeping them in a Traditional Catholic school, and around children who believe in the same, they aren't doomed to go down this same road where I end up saying, "Well, I'd rather know what they're doing than have them go behind my back"? I know families with children who have not gone the way of the popular culture. I know it can be done. Can't it?



Not naive at all Natalie. And I am right behind you in your way of thinking. And Deanna and I support you 100 percent. Trusting in God will help us to prevail against the evils this world offers young children. We were both young once, and had our fair share of trials and temptations. How much more so does a child today face?

Stead fast in our faith. Slow and steady. It can be done my friend. It can be done.


quote:

Is resistance futile?



Even Captain Picard found ways to beat the unbeatable Borg emoticon



Last edited by SHJIHM, Feb/13/2009, 10:17 am


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"My Sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.


Feb/13/2009, 10:16 am Link to this post Send Email to SHJIHM   Send PM to SHJIHM
 
AdMajoremDeiGloriam Profile
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Cardinal

Registered: 08-2005
Posts: 1515
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Re: Is resistance futile?


"Baby-faced boy Alfie Patten is father at 13"

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece

"A TEENAGE mum on benefits who had a baby son at 15 is expecting triplets — at 17"

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2224410.ece


Last edited by AdMajoremDeiGloriam, Feb/13/2009, 12:26 pm
Feb/13/2009, 12:15 pm Link to this post Send Email to AdMajoremDeiGloriam   Send PM to AdMajoremDeiGloriam
 
nattyjk Profile
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Registered: 09-2005
Posts: 445
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Re: Is resistance futile?


quote:

Your friend must really be looking forward to becoming a grandma.


You know, the ironic thing in all of this is that my friend had her daughter at 19. Although she was out of high school and not quite as young as many teenage moms these days, she was still too young and not ready for it (not to mention unmarried). One would think that her experience would deter her from allowing this kind of behavior in her much younger daughter. It's absolutely mind-boggling.

quote:

I grew up with rules. As such, I don't drink, I have never done any drugs, and I have never been in any serious trouble.


I wish I could say the same. I just managed to get lucky. I did have rules, but the environment I lived in allowed me way too much freedom for my age. We weren't going to church regularly. My dad was largely absent. My life was really a bit of chaos. So while I have "no room to talk" as they say, I will not say that if my environment at that time had been different I still would have made the same choices. I really don't believe I would have.

quote:

Not naive at all Natalie. And I am right behind you in your way of thinking. And Deanna and I support you 100 percent. Trusting in God will help us to prevail against the evils this world offers young children.


I had no doubt about that, Tony emoticon Halainah is very blessed, indeed. And this is why I don't understand the attitude of those like my friend. They act as if parents are actually more out-of-touch to suppose they can prevent the behavior somehow and that the logical thing to do is to allow it so at least they know what their kids are up to. They do not seem to entertain the idea that a child will behave (generally) according to the way they grew up. Here's an example: After I started attending the TLM, I began to follow the tradition of wearing skirts. The only time I wore pants was in the house. If we went out somewhere, and certainly to church, I always wore a skirt. Lately I've been making more exception where that's concerned, but you get the idea. Last year, I had bought Lauren a couple pairs of jeans at the store (because I think it's a little different when it comes to little girls). My oldest son, Joey, said to me, "Girls don't wear jeans!" Now, he certainly doesn't live in a cave and we are not the most traditionalist Catholic family you will meet, but this is what was normal to him. He certainly had seen women wearing pants all the time, including family members, but this is what he understood to be the norm. Rather than admonishing us that we can't "shelter" our kids from everything (duh!), they need to realize that that's not what it's really about. It's about giving them the tools to recognize and RESIST those bad things. With proper formation, the idea is that they won't WANT to do those things that "everyone else" is doing because they know it's wrong.

And that's the other thing....we are living in a basically Godless society for the most part. Even those who say they believe in God (and I believe they do) only view and practice that belief in a cursory way. In other words, it has no real meaning to them or their children. They don't attend church, there is no accountability to God. So the only authority these kids have to answer to is their parents, and their parents are liberal pushovers.



Last edited by nattyjk, Feb/13/2009, 12:55 pm


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Holy cow, it's a girl!!!
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Michael D Profile
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Re: Is resistance futile?


quote:

And that's the other thing....we are living in a basically Godless society for the most part.



This is a thought that keeps going through my mind again and again. Most people do still have some belief in a Creator but there is no longer any conception of sin or separation or the need for atonement. Of course there is also no longer a widespread belief in evil or hell. It truly seems like ages since TPOTC came out. I doubt that movie would have as much appeal today as it did at the time.

---
Nothing by force, but everything by charity.

Ss. Thomas Aquinas and Augustine, pray for us.
Feb/13/2009, 5:47 pm Link to this post Send Email to Michael D   Send PM to Michael D
 


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